I won’t forget…

I know people that say, “I try to forget the past, and look to the future.”…

But I don’t want to forget the past, and neither should anyone.

The past is what shaped us into the person that we are today and that is why I keep a box of your stuff underneath my bed. That’s why I keep your letters in a folder hidden in my closet. That’s why I FORCE myself to remember….to remember you…to remember us…

It’s hard, and maybe I would be happier if i forgot you, but then I would forget who I was, and not realize how much progress I have made.

I fought HARD, for years. I didn’t fight just to forget.

Although sometimes it’s hard, I remember you. I take out the box, that’s filled with your stuff, and I remind myself of the person I used to be and of the person that you once were…..

and sometimes i cry…..

but I cannot forget you, because you and I were as close as I had ever felt with anybody I had ever met. You were a part of who I was, and I was a part of you….and when I lost you, i lost part of myself, and it took me forever to fill that emptiness inside that you had left me with.

It’s hard to forget you, because if I did, I’d be forgetting everything… All the time we had spent together, all of the things we had done, all of the stuff we went through…

So I will FORCE myself to remember…even if at sometimes I don’t want to, because it may be too painful. And I may cry, and I may miss you, but I will become stronger. Every time you cross my mind, I gain strength…because if I can make it through losing half of who I was, then I can make it through anything.

So I WON’T forget…

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