False Reality

Last night when I laid down to sleep,

I felt your breathe on the back of my neck…

I felt your hands resting on my hips…

I turned around, but to my surprise…

I did not meet your lips.

The air suddenly turned cold as I stared beside me.

I reached out for you to hold, but my arms remained empty…

I closed my eyes as i tried to bring to life your memory

of the day I laid in your arms, and listened to you breathe.

This morning I woke up and felt a kiss on the cheek.

I turned my head to see you smiling…as I hid my face beneath the sheets.

I no longer felt your weight on me as I hid underneath the cloth…

So I threw up the sheets and was upset to see that you were now gone…

The days drag on and it’s always the same routine….

I think you’re there, I FEEL you’re there….

But it’s only ever a dream…

I’m slowly starting to lose sight of the person I use to be,

because the only time that I could ever be myself…

was when you were here with me…

I’ve lost sight of reality…

how do I know when you’re truly there if my eyes continue to deceive me?

….I just wish you were here…

I need you… I miss you…and now I have lost my mind…

because losing you…was always my biggest fear.

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You Drove me to INSANITY.

You’re no longer who you used to be.

You’re no longer the man who was once in love with me…

You turned and walked away and when your friends asked about why you left, you said, “She’s crazy”.

But am I crazy? Am I truly insane? Well, now maybe I am, because all of the words you said to me and behind my back, are now all stuck in my brain.

I was happy, and I was nice to everyone….

and now look at what you have done…

I cry every night…because I feel so stupid for all the times that I believed in your LIES….

but they aren’t lies…right?…

because I’m the one who’s mentally ill…

yet you’re the one who obsessed over me, you’re the one who would never leave me be…

yet I STILL love you…

I wake up to 23 missed calls from you at 7:am on a weekend…

The reasoning behind your obsessive calling?… Your “text message wouldn’t send”. …

but no…I’m the one who needs help…

because I screamed at you when you said you hated me…because i chose not to whisper, but to YELL.

So tell your friends that I’m submitted to a mental hospital…

because after all…..you’re the one who got me here…